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Random Japaneseness
1 hour ago
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Revelation
The college football regular season and post-season bowl games are not set up in such a manner as to properly crown a national champion.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Jury Duty Incident
A summons in the mail
Caused me a slight furor
as it was time for me to serve
My civic duty as a juror
At the Hamilton County courthouse
The Juror pool gets its own space
Almost half a floor of sprawl
A clean and well lit place
Most time was spent a waiting
just hanging out with no plan
At one point I broke from waiting
To visit the Men's room can
I went into the men's room
It was a clean place for relief
shiny tile and a floor drain
In case someone reversed their noodles and beef
But then I saw a dreadful sight
When I went into the stall
I almost screamed in horror:
A booger schmeared upon the wall!
Who had done such a thing?
Who would cause such a mess?
It was almost certainly recent...
It looked relatively fresh.
My sense of justice was upset
My sense of civic duty was too
It also just grossed me out
and that's kinda hard to do
Was this an act of disobedience
The culprit wanted everyone to know
Like a booger flinging modern day
Henry David Thoreau
Was it the guy in our first meeting
who asked about a restraining order
then asked if he could go home
because of his bipolar disorder
Was it a young hipster
who wanted to vote for Obama
so he registered to vote
and ended up with jury drama
It was the fate of our system
to which they would entrust us
but in return someone provided
A stain on the stall of justice
Caused me a slight furor
as it was time for me to serve
My civic duty as a juror
At the Hamilton County courthouse
The Juror pool gets its own space
Almost half a floor of sprawl
A clean and well lit place
Most time was spent a waiting
just hanging out with no plan
At one point I broke from waiting
To visit the Men's room can
I went into the men's room
It was a clean place for relief
shiny tile and a floor drain
In case someone reversed their noodles and beef
But then I saw a dreadful sight
When I went into the stall
I almost screamed in horror:
A booger schmeared upon the wall!
Who had done such a thing?
Who would cause such a mess?
It was almost certainly recent...
It looked relatively fresh.
My sense of justice was upset
My sense of civic duty was too
It also just grossed me out
and that's kinda hard to do
Was this an act of disobedience
The culprit wanted everyone to know
Like a booger flinging modern day
Henry David Thoreau
Was it the guy in our first meeting
who asked about a restraining order
then asked if he could go home
because of his bipolar disorder
Was it a young hipster
who wanted to vote for Obama
so he registered to vote
and ended up with jury drama
It was the fate of our system
to which they would entrust us
but in return someone provided
A stain on the stall of justice
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Taco Bell Drive-Thru
I had a not-so-crisp fiver in my pocket and a yearning for sustenance. The run to the border was a short one, Candice was driving me back to my car only a block or two away (I was exhausted from a marathon poker session...) and Taco Bell was on the same block!
I ordered a couple of chilitos, a volcano taco, and a soft taco. When we got to the window....
BILLY, a Taco Bell employee in his late 20's with a large frame has his head in his hands, slouched over the drive-up window. He does not look up to acknowledge JOHN and CANDICE, who've just driven up to the window. After an uncomfortable 30 seconds...
CANDICE: Is something wrong? Are you ok?
John rolls his eyes and shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat.
BILLY: Those people just drove off. (He points toward Beechmont Ave) They ordered a bunch of shit, then they said we had it wrong, and then we remade it, and then they left. God damn...
CANDICE: Oh no....
JOHN: (perking up) Wow, that really sucks. So sorry, my friend.
BILLY: You guys want a bunch of free shit?
CANDICE: Su....
JOHN: (interrupting) Hell Yeah!!!!
ANONYMOUS VOICE FROM BACK OF RESTAURANT: Free is good!!!
After taking the money for their small order, Billy returns to the window carrying three heaping bags of Taco Bell Goodness.
CANDICE: Thank you!
JOHN: I hope your night gets better, good fellow!
I ordered a couple of chilitos, a volcano taco, and a soft taco. When we got to the window....
BILLY, a Taco Bell employee in his late 20's with a large frame has his head in his hands, slouched over the drive-up window. He does not look up to acknowledge JOHN and CANDICE, who've just driven up to the window. After an uncomfortable 30 seconds...
CANDICE: Is something wrong? Are you ok?
John rolls his eyes and shifts uncomfortably in the passenger seat.
BILLY: Those people just drove off. (He points toward Beechmont Ave) They ordered a bunch of shit, then they said we had it wrong, and then we remade it, and then they left. God damn...
CANDICE: Oh no....
JOHN: (perking up) Wow, that really sucks. So sorry, my friend.
BILLY: You guys want a bunch of free shit?
CANDICE: Su....
JOHN: (interrupting) Hell Yeah!!!!
ANONYMOUS VOICE FROM BACK OF RESTAURANT: Free is good!!!
After taking the money for their small order, Billy returns to the window carrying three heaping bags of Taco Bell Goodness.
CANDICE: Thank you!
JOHN: I hope your night gets better, good fellow!
How long should a single table satellite last?
Nine players, 2500 chips to start, blinds up every ten minutes....playing to the final TWO.
If you guessed less than four hours, you would've been just as baffled as I was last night.
If you guessed less than four hours, you would've been just as baffled as I was last night.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
All Star Game...
The National League just went ahead 3-2. The St. Louis Cardinal fans are the best baseball fans in the country, the smartest baseball fans in the country, and they're gonna bring home a victory for the good guys.
I was at the Cincinnati All Star Game in 1988, man oh man that was a crappy game. The home run derby got called off, and the All Star Game MVP was Terry Steinbach. Chris Sabo did not get to play, outraging many.
The home field advantage thing is stupid. A moronic solution to a problem that never should have occurred in the first place. FOX baseball coverage sucks. Put Pete in the Hall.
I was at the Cincinnati All Star Game in 1988, man oh man that was a crappy game. The home run derby got called off, and the All Star Game MVP was Terry Steinbach. Chris Sabo did not get to play, outraging many.
The home field advantage thing is stupid. A moronic solution to a problem that never should have occurred in the first place. FOX baseball coverage sucks. Put Pete in the Hall.
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